Nineveh 90: Weeks 3-5 Update

Every time I attempt to do this update, Life Happens. So, here's about three weeks' worth of thoughts and reflections on Nineveh 90.

It's definitely incredibly hard. I suppose that self-denial isn't supposed to feel like a gentle massage but I was terribly underprepared for just how intense it was going to be. I don't think that I'm a Nineveh 90 Flunkie, because I've learned some incredibly important things the last couple of weeks with regards to my spirituality.

First, I've had to pare back more the sacrifices because Our Lord has definitely sent His own ideas for them. The biggest being that my father, who cares for my mother; became quite under the weather and needed some serious assistance so he could rest. We left on a whim (thank God for homeschooling, as we could just grab our supplies and leave) and stayed for four days to do things like laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping, caring for my mom, and the like. I'm thrilled to say that my Dad is on the upswing and was ready to resume his regular role.

Second, one of the biggest things that happened was while I was going through these rather intense acts of self-denial, I basically made my penances everyone's penances. Essentially, I became extremely crabby. I basically had to make a decision - either keep on keeping on and continue to be crabby or to stop, re-evaluate and resume with what I can do right now (clearly I was too optimistic when I modified it originally).

I'll let you guess what I opted for.

It's incredibly humbling to realize just how weak I am at this point in time; but I'm understanding that it's through no fault of my own (well, not entirely). I still have an infant under one who is depending on me for nourishment. I have a flock of young children who definitely need an even-keeled mom in the house, not one who is crabby, sleep-deprived more than normal, and just wrung straight out (see point the first, above).

And as would be anticipated, the Peace that surpasses understanding has arrived and the Holy Spirit has been moving in significant ways.

My even more modified program has dropped most of the sleep and food fasting. I still keep the radio off and I struggle to stay off the Internet (which, hey hey, started as a way to escape some stuff that FINALLY, praise the Lord, has been resolved), and work on developing the prayer-side of Nineveh 90 (Angelus, Rosary, 20 minutes of mental prayer).

In the true fashion of Holy Father St. Benedict, "always we begin again". Even if we have to start over every single day, as long as we start over in our search for the Lord, we will always get where we are wanting to go.


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